i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
NoShamevember. You game?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
