I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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