so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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