I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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