every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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