Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
