I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
