We're facebook friends in real life
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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