My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
