Already got asked if we're dating
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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