Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
