My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
