Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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