Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i love accidental penises.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
