What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
