I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
