I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
