Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
