we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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