My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
