they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
