We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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