You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dicks are not precious.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
