they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
