i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
