Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
