I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
