thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
