if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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