i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
now i know why i became what i already was.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
