Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
