I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
