theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
