I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
