Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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