if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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