I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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