so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
