how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
