she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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