We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
