Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize