Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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