her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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