I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
