Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
