smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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