Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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