My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
