Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
