I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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