his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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