i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
