i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
