I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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