I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
