it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
