Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize